True Nature, Cynthia Sumner–coaching for personal & professional growth
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What's my perspective? A new game. 

3/9/2013

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I’d like to try out a new game with you. I call it, “What’s My Perspective”. It’s a simple exercise for recognizing how the way we look at a situation influences our experience of it. I give you a scenario and you guess my point of view. Ready to play?

Okay, here you go:

I’m driving around and around the parking lot at Whole Foods and I finally have my eye on someone heading to their car. They are taking their sweet time, so I start checking my text and before I know it, in swoops another car to MY spot. I get mad. It’s too late to even honk my horn. I stew, I steam, I pout and drive around some more thinking, grrrr, arrrrggghh, why does this always happen to me? What’s my perspective?

Finally, I get into the store and they are out of the one thing I really had to get. Since I’m here anyway I pick up a few others items, a couple of apples, an avocado, some hummus, chocolate, a bottle of tea and head for the line. All of them are long, so I go to the express line, where there are only 4 people ahead of me. They are chatting each other up while I’m tapping my foot thinking about where I have to be in 10 minutes and looking at the clock wishing it would turn backwards just for me. Then the gal at the front starts arguing and fussing with the clerk because she wants to write a check. I think I’m going to pull my hair out. What’s my perspective?

Okay, so nobody died, no one got hurt and I get back to my car. As I open the door, I drop my bag of stuff, spilling it all on the ground, watching as my apples roll over the curb and my avocado turn into guacamole. Two young children, a boy and a girl, about 6 and 8, come rushing over, bending down with me, catching the apples from under the car wheels then looking at me with concern. The boy picks up my very sad looking avocado, hands it to me and we all start to laugh. What’s my perspective?

Bottom line? Everything involves choice. Some, we are more aware of than others, especially when it comes to things landing in to the  sh--t happens category. The good news is when things do, we can choose how we want to look at them. What perspective are we in? What point of view will serve us best as we go through the rest of our day? I don’t know about you, but getting pissed off, defeated, mad at myself and everyone else, doesn’t work out so well. But laughing at the absurdity of my own self-made misfortune feels a whole lot better. When I realign my point of view, I can see a bigger picture. Things aren't just happening to me and I have other choices available that look more inviting.

Some perspectives masquerade as long held beliefs and that's when it's really hard to tell the forest from the trees. Recognizing that you are even locked into a particular way of viewing things can be a challenge when it simply is your "truth". So try playing a game with it and see what you notice. What perspectives aren’t working for you? What is another one that would give you more of what you really want to experience? Now it’s your turn to play.

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Valentine's After-glow

2/14/2013

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Happy Valentine’s Day after! What a great excuse to revel in love. All love, self-love, gay love, straight love, kinky love, friendship love and the universal love y’all, love. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about self-love. And no, I’m not talking about sitting around reading “Shades of Grey” in the bath or what ever else floats your boat in that department. I’m talking about the kind of self-love that wakes you up in the morning feeling excited to see who you get to be with others today. How do you get to experience yourself? What in you is clamoring for expression?

Seems most all of us got “a thing” we carry around like a little piece of stone chaffing at our heart. We were raised in this culture, in this particular time period, where in so many ways, we are still coming out of the dark ages of repression or the negation of self. Thinking about ones own family in the context of the social/historical continuum, it’s no freaking wonder we are challenged in varying degrees to accept ourselves as simply being, okay.  And the bottom of the bottom line of self-love is just that…feeling okay. And maybe even better than okay with who you are in THIS moment. Self-improvement may be a great goal to have, but what about right now?

That’s where the reveling comes in. Taking time to bask in the great after glow of the love fest Valentine’s Day represents (minus the Hallmark cards and romantic delusions). Where love is love and it’s all yours to experience. I picture my sweet pooch, rolling around on his back, totally happy to be his funny little dog self. How good it feels to be a dog! Nothing better than that! Did he have to do anything to deserve feeling loved? Nope, he just had to show up and be a dog. What if we didn’t have to do anything to feel loved besides simply being here?

Imagine celebrating yourself for no good reason other than there is no one else on this planet like you, with your special assortment of cells, experience, personality, gifts and abilities. Truly, there isn’t another one on this entire Earth just like you. What is it about you that makes you so uniquely you? If you’ve never written a love letter to yourself, I’d encourage you to try it on for size. Now. What would it feel like to leave off the judgments and have your self a little party? To get out the horns and whistles and blow them on your own behalf and revel in the noise you make? Hummm? Might be even better than chocolate. Just saying…

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