I’d like to try out a new game with you. I call it, “What’s My Perspective”. It’s a simple exercise for recognizing how the way we look at a situation influences our experience of it. I give you a scenario and you guess my point of view. Ready to play?

Okay, here you go:

I’m driving around and around the parking lot at Whole Foods and I finally have my eye on someone heading to their car. They are taking their sweet time, so I start checking my text and before I know it, in swoops another car to MY spot. I get mad. It’s too late to even honk my horn. I stew, I steam, I pout and drive around some more thinking, grrrr, arrrrggghh, why does this always happen to me? What’s my perspective?

Finally, I get into the store and they are out of the one thing I really had to get. Since I’m here anyway I pick up a few others items, a couple of apples, an avocado, some hummus, chocolate, a bottle of tea and head for the line. All of them are long, so I go to the express line, where there are only 4 people ahead of me. They are chatting each other up while I’m tapping my foot thinking about where I have to be in 10 minutes and looking at the clock wishing it would turn backwards just for me. Then the gal at the front starts arguing and fussing with the clerk because she wants to write a check. I think I’m going to pull my hair out. What’s my perspective?

Okay, so nobody died, no one got hurt and I get back to my car. As I open the door, I drop my bag of stuff, spilling it all on the ground, watching as my apples roll over the curb and my avocado turn into guacamole. Two young children, a boy and a girl, about 6 and 8, come rushing over, bending down with me, catching the apples from under the car wheels then looking at me with concern. The boy picks up my very sad looking avocado, hands it to me and we all start to laugh. What’s my perspective?

Bottom line? Everything involves choice. Some, we are more aware of than others, especially when it comes to things landing in to the  sh--t happens category. The good news is when things do, we can choose how we want to look at them. What perspective are we in? What point of view will serve us best as we go through the rest of our day? I don’t know about you, but getting pissed off, defeated, mad at myself and everyone else, doesn’t work out so well. But laughing at the absurdity of my own self-made misfortune feels a whole lot better. When I realign my point of view, I can see a bigger picture. Things aren't just happening to me and I have other choices available that look more inviting.

Some perspectives masquerade as long held beliefs and that's when it's really hard to tell the forest from the trees. Recognizing that you are even locked into a particular way of viewing things can be a challenge when it simply is your "truth". So try playing a game with it and see what you notice. What perspectives aren’t working for you? What is another one that would give you more of what you really want to experience? Now it’s your turn to play.

Imagine feeling heard, knowing someone was really listening and caring about what you had to say.

I volunteer with kids. I watch them as they bounce around, shouting over each other, hands waving in the air, just to share a thought or an impulse they can’t bear to hold back another second. It’s so natural, our instinct to be heard.

Being listened to is like oxygen. Life just isn’t the same without it. Our cells contract, we gasp and struggle until finally, we can take that deep breath and know with an ahh-haa, we've got the air we need. It’s the same feeling as knowing someone else gets us, that someone sees who we are and is paying attention to what we have to say.

I think of my little nephew, tugging on my sleeve, saying “Auntie Cynthia, Auntie Cynthia, I wanna tell you something”! There’s a thrill in listening to him make up a story, conjuring up heroes, great feats, and colorful surroundings. He tells me, “my sister Abbey and me went to the East Bay and had a picnic with some pirates and we stole their swords and jumped on some really big purple bird and flew all the way home”. He’s four years old and he knows he has something so important to share he can’t even sit still while saying it.

Is there something in you that's jumping up and down to be heard? What are you wanting to express? What would it feel like to have someone listen with curiosity and intent to whatever you have to share? I'd like to know, so I’m offering 30 minutes of free air time to listen to whatever you want to have heard. Do you know that guy on YouTube who goes around giving free hugs? I’m offering something similar–free listening sessions. There's no risk, no judgement, and no obligation. Or try it yourself by taking the time to really listen to someone else. See what you notice. To really hear what someone is saying, it takes being fully present in the moment. And that's just about as much of a gift, as being heard.