True Nature, Cynthia Sumner–coaching for personal & professional growth
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Who's listening?

2/27/2013

6 Comments

 
Picture
Imagine feeling heard, knowing someone was really listening and caring about what you had to say.

I volunteer with kids. I watch them as they bounce around, shouting over each other, hands waving in the air, just to share a thought or an impulse they can’t bear to hold back another second. It’s so natural, our instinct to be heard.

Being listened to is like oxygen. Life just isn’t the same without it. Our cells contract, we gasp and struggle until finally, we can take that deep breath and know with an ahh-haa, we've got the air we need. It’s the same feeling as knowing someone else gets us, that someone sees who we are and is paying attention to what we have to say.

I think of my little nephew, tugging on my sleeve, saying “Auntie Cynthia, Auntie Cynthia, I wanna tell you something”! There’s a thrill in listening to him make up a story, conjuring up heroes, great feats, and colorful surroundings. He tells me, “my sister Abbey and me went to the East Bay and had a picnic with some pirates and we stole their swords and jumped on some really big purple bird and flew all the way home”. He’s four years old and he knows he has something so important to share he can’t even sit still while saying it.

Is there something in you that's jumping up and down to be heard? What are you wanting to express? What would it feel like to have someone listen with curiosity and intent to whatever you have to share? I'd like to know, so I’m offering 30 minutes of free air time to listen to whatever you want to have heard. Do you know that guy on YouTube who goes around giving free hugs? I’m offering something similar–free listening sessions. There's no risk, no judgement, and no obligation. Or try it yourself by taking the time to really listen to someone else. See what you notice. To really hear what someone is saying, it takes being fully present in the moment. And that's just about as much of a gift, as being heard.


6 Comments
Cathy Severson link
3/5/2013 10:03:42 pm

Hi Cynthia,
Great blog. I have two comments. First, I didn't always feel listened to as a child, so promised myself that as a parent I would listen intently to every word my children uttered. Unfortunately, my daughter started talking at 18 months and literally never was quiet. She's now a bright, engaging, and wonderful adult who was only slightly damaged by my lack of parenting skills.
The other comment is welcome to the blogging exchange. As a blogger one of the most challenging aspects of writing a blog is not knowing if anyone is reading (or listening). I look forward to reading more of your blogs.

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Cynthia Sumner link
3/9/2013 03:35:20 am

Thank you for reading and commenting. My big challenge right now is knowing if anyone is seeing my blogs and how to get them out so they can be read. I'm happy to reciprocate as well.

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Renata link
3/6/2013 12:24:44 am

I echo your message about being heard. It is one of the 3 fundamental components that people identify as pre-requisites to life satisfaction. That's why life coaches, like yourself, are "a bomb"!

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Ellen Finkelstein link
3/6/2013 12:47:51 am

I love your point and your stories. The idea that being listened to is like oxygen is amazing -- very powerful. You're an excellent writer!

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Cynthia Sumner link
3/9/2013 03:38:11 am

Thanks Ellen. The thing I am loving about blogging, is learning to take my own advice and USE IT. I am taking the tips from your blog to heart and am looking to make this one more accessible. Got any ideas on how to enroll subscribers or followers?

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John Willette link
8/24/2013 12:52:28 am

Cynthia I truly enjoyed your blogs. This one on listening spoke to me. That's probably why I love Toastmasters so much. I get to be heard by a captive and supportive audience. It's also a way to drum up a following if they like what you are saying. Just an idea for you.

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